Pride

Its known as a Sin in Christianity and known as a character that I have taken quite a fondness for in Fullmetal Alchemist.  But the idea of Pride as well as the character of the same name both have major implications for my life in ways that are not so unrelated at all.

As far as the idea of Pride, if here is a vice I am personally guilty of, this is it.  I feel myself at times to be above my peers and when I am told how pathetic I am by the nastier of those I encounter, I tend to write it off as them having issues with themselves that they then project on to me.

Despite the fact that this is true near all the time (this is proof of my pride after all) it means that to all I encounter, I come off as a pompus jerk most if not all the time.  And while it is certainly justifiable for me to come off as such to many of the lowlifes I encounter, that does not excuse me of treating my friends the same.

Alas, even worse, when I do act as such, I do not have the capital, nor power, or even influence to back up my behavior.  In lacking these traits, I come off as weak as well to these same individuals.  Now remembering back to my earlier statement, one can understand why at times, I have an undeniable hunger for power.  It all comes back to my pride.

As for the character by the same name, every so often when I partake in media that is not my own writing, I stumble across ideas that essentially take an idea I worked on and figuratively speaking, take a shit on it.

For example, one of the prime antagonists of my first novel in The Search For Eden Series, known by most of you as The End of Utopia, has the ability to use shadows as a weapon.  And while the idea I had was relatively cool in concept, I was blown away by how the concept became more than just a cool gimmick and entered full fledged nightmare fuel territory in Fullmetal Alchemist (If the image above alone doesn't make you feel uncomfortable, then you are braver than most)

What is funny most of all when you look at these two ideas and then put them together, you realize that one of the goals I have for my writing is to in a way, create the most fear filled and powerful fiction possible.  Thus, I have to search for great ideas that have already been used and expand upon them.  In a way, I am using the idea behind the eldritch abomination Pride to create an every scarier menace due to my own personal pride.

This is a flaw (or is it) that I intend to explore more of.  expect more blog posts on this subject as I find more answers.