Remembering My Papa

August 31 has never been a day I have looked forward to.  While 1998 seems like an eternity ago in numbers, it still seems like it was too close to comfort.

On that day all those years ago my Papa was finally bested by the Lung Cancer that he had been fighting for many years.  He was stubborn to the end.  This deadly illness took quite some time to claim him.  And the time that became his final was of his own choosing.

The day after today, September 1st, is my birthday, the day after, September 2nd is my Grandmothers, just 9 days later, September 11th is my cousin Meghan's.  My Papa refused to let his passing cause extreme and long lasting grief to his family.  He wanted us to live our lives in peace and happiness.  To that end, he willed his own end on August 31.  His final defiance against Cancer.

As I shed tears writing the post, I remember my Papa for the man he was.  He built and repaired Televisions.  He was living the American Dream of working a job he loved till the final years of his life.  I was also his first grandchild.  A grandson.

Due to the fact that he had all daughters, it was one of his greatest joys to have a grandson that he had never had before.  He helped instill my deep obsession with trains, and although he probably would not want to know it now, his fascination with TVs lead to my own fascination with Computers.  I note this here, because my Papa had been fearful of learning about this new technology right before he had gotten sick.

The me that existed in 1998 was a very different person than the one who lives now.  In a way I am glad that my Papa never knew the me that feel into a deep spiral of depression and almost completely lost myself to despair years later.  To him, I will always be his smiling, happy, grandson.  I will not to him, ever be the cold and sometimes unpleasant cynic that I am today.

However, there are many things that I have accomplished despite my many many setbacks that I know he would be quite proud of.  In fact surviving the ordeals I have would possibly be a point of joy for him.  A testament to a fortitude akin to his own.  In addition, the last few years have helped me gain a deeper appreciation for Judaism.  One of his hopes as a Kohenim, was for his family to continue to embrace their Jewish traditions.  Going to Israel and wearing a Kepah everywhere is a testament to this hope.

I have published a novel and written countless blog posts, both personal and professional.  This week marks me finally casting off the chains of menial jobs and moving towards work that I enjoy, just like my Papa.  This week, most notably the day that I have chosen to write this blog post marks an equally monumental day in my life.  I have returned to school full time.  The last time i was able to be in school was in 2011.  Its been a while, but I finally can say that I am putting the pieces of my shattered life back together.

Wherever you are now Papa, I hope you are proud of me for my accomplishments.  I hope you do not judge me for some of the more terrible and sometimes heinous acts I have committed as I grappled with mental illness and despair.  I hope especially today, on the day that marks your departure from this world many years ago, that you are helping to guide me and shape me into the man I have always wanted to be.

You may be gone from this world Papa, but there is not a day I don't think about you.  Rest in Peace, now and always.

The Origin of the Name Palestine and What It Means

There are few topics that have been capturing media attention for such a long time as the Israeli Palestinian Conflict.  This post will be talking about the Origin of the name Palestine itself and NOT about the people who currently claim to be the people from that land area.

Before I continue, I want to bring up a fictional comparison from an Anime I have just finished watching that has a similar situation occur.  In Code Geass, (which is a fantastic Anime and you can read about my review of it in a Blog Post near this one on the page) one of the driving forces of the plot is the fact that the British Empire has conquered Japan and renamed it Area 11.  In addition, they have renamed the Japanese as 11s.  The British do this with the intent of stripping these people of their identity as well as removing any connection they may have to their homeland by causing it to no longer exist.

Back to Israel, it was renamed Palestine by the Romans in 135 CE after they crushed the Rebellion of Shimon Bar Kokhba.  They did this to remove the Jewish Identity from the land as well as remove all trace of the land of Israel from history.  Isn't it crazy?  It sounds just like what Britain did in Code Geass. 

The Japanese fought tooth and nail for their identity in the Anime, just as the Jewish people fight now, as we have reclaimed our homeland from would be usurpers.  I call on he world to let the Roman Empire rot.  They were defeated long ago.  The Jewish people outlasted them, just like all our enemies.  Remove the word Palestine from the area around Israel.  It is the label of a long dead Empire.  Dead things after all are supposed to aid the living, not hinder them, are they not?

And with the truth being shown as Antisemitism is on the rise in Europe, a well as BDS showing its true colors in Spain, now is a time more than ever, that the Jewish people have need of our homeland.  A homeland that can help to weather the storm that is coming our way.  In a United home, we can stop this hatred, before it blows up into full grown genocide.

Masada will never fall again.  The Roman Empire is dead.  Let us bury the word Palestine with it.

For more reading on this topic, start here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Timeline_of_the_name_%22Palestine%22#Ancient_period

Three Types of People I see in the world

There is a quote that I was a fan of when I first watched American Sniper.  "There are three types of people, Sheep Wolves, and Sheep Dogs."  While this quote can be used to represent the world, I think there is a better analyze the different types of people.

Instead, I think the quote should be as follows:  "The three types of people in the world are Mice, Snakes, and Mongooses."

The Mice are easy to define and also consist of most of the population. They scurry around aimlessly in their lives completely oblivious to the inner workings of he world.  the world simple as it seems, they can navigate fairly well and get into places they both belong and do not belong.  However, it is not long before they are hunted down.  Some of the Mice are capable of fighting back, and every so often a very clever one is capable of defeating its attacker, but before long they will likely find defeat.

Their attacker is the Snake.  There are far fewer snakes than Mice for they would run out of food quickly if their numbers increased.  Snakes are cunning manipulators.  they stalk their prey.  they are as patient as they are deadly.  Politicians and CEOs of major companies are both  examples of Snakes.  Preying on those weaker than them (almost everyone in the world) Sociopaths are by definition Snakes.  Some Snakes enjoy playing with their food first, but that is not a requirement of the world.  A majority of the evils in this world are caused by Snakes.  their cunning demeanor means they are smarter than a majority of those around them making them dangerous.

The third category is harder to notice than the other two unlike in observing the real life animal counterparts.  The Mongoose is the hunter of the Snake.  Employing the tactics of its enemy against it.  They prove that sometimes fighting fire with fire does indeed work.  In this case, it is combating deadly cunning with itself.  Since they hunt such deadly prey, the Mongoose has over time become resistant if not outright immune to the deadly venom of the Snake.  People who desire change as well as generally heroic pragmatists are examples of Mongooses, but as an even higher level predator, they are even rarer in society.

Although it is egotistical of me to claim so (or is it) I see myself as a Mongoose.  I have been quite commonly called a Snake and at times I feel like one, but as I posted above, I must employ the tactics of my enemies to combat them directly.  I certainly have work to do in this regard.  I have not quite become immune to the Snake Venom and for me especially when I approach Sociopaths, who I have made it part of my life's mission to defeat wherever I can, I manage to get myself into some dangerous situations.

But this is true of the Mongoose in nature.  hen hunting a deadly hunter, sometimes the prey and predator can switch.  This is especially when the battle is over cunning and wit just as much as physical strength.

Code Geass: A Spoiler Free Review

As when I completed Deathnote, I will review Code Geass.  Of course it will be as spoiler free as possible.

Code Geass is about a young man named Lelouch, an abandoned prince of an alternate history British Empire.  He along with his blind and paralyzed sister Nunnally, are living in what was once Japan.  However, the British Empire conquered the land and stole the name and identity from its people.  This act struck home as it reminded me of how the Romans conquered Israel and renamed it Palestine for the exact same reason.

Still that is a minor point in a vastly incredible Anime.  The plot of the show is that Lelouch desires revenge against the British Empire for slighting him and his sister, and more importantly, for killing his Mother.  To that end, the assumes the Mask of the vigilante Zero (oops is that a spoiler?) to change the world.  He desires to create a peaceful world for the sake of his sister.

Of course, Lelouch is an infamous anti hero with main ingredients that allows him to create the revolution he desires.  The first is a magical ability he gains called Geass.  This power allows him to force a command on any person that they must obey without question.  The second is an army he creates through a combination of his Geass use and pure Magnificent Bastardly tactics known as the Black Knights.

Britain's main weapon to keep enslaved people in line are known as Knightmares, giant man controlled mechs with exceptional combat abilities.  By creating his own Knightmares, Lelouch seeks to turn Britain's greatest weapon against itself.

As Lelouch gets progressively more anti hero, he finds himself in opposition to his best friend Suzaku.  A young idealist who believes he can change the world from working within the system, I would be lying if his character does not irritate me to no end.  This is helped by the fact that his voice actor is  Yuri Lownenthal, the same man who voiced Luke and Asch in Tale of the Abyss, which helps me see him as equally insufferable.

While on voice actors, quite a few of the Tales of Abyss Voice Actors are present in Code Geass, to the point where I will be writing a blog post in the future drawing parallels between the two plots since many of the voice actors are almost doing the same roles.

Back to the Anime, one of the other important elements of this show that I have failed to highlight is the character CC (called C 2 in the show) She is the one who grants Lelouch his Geass and in the true Fem Fatale fashion, there is a price to pay.  This payment is a major part of the show (but you will have to see for yourself if you want to know the answer)  CC also loves pizza greatly and one has to wonder how much Pizza Hut paid the producers of this show to advertise their food in almost every episode.

Back to Lelouch though, his tactics and belief system are what really kept me engaged in the show.  I watched his actions and wondered just how much of myself I saw in Zero.  Tactics to change the world by destroying the system completely using an incredible diverse group of operatives sounds like what I would do if I had his abilities.  Of course, I can say with confidence that I am in much better shape than Lelouch is.

Between hoping that Zeros next scheme was a success, and hoping that Suzaku would figure out how much of an idiot he was, this is certainly one of the best Anime's I have ever seen and it will be a tough act to follow.  With my next likely choice either being Cowboy Bebop or the very lengthy Naruto, it will eb hard to compete with this incredible and well thought out Anime.

Map Making

In an earlier blog post, I pointed out the necessity of including a glossary in the back of any self respecting Science Fiction or Fantasy Novel.  But that is not the only aspect that separates an average series from one that really stands out.

For one to really become one with a story, they have to feel like the world around the characters is alive.  It must breath, it must function, and most importantly, it must exist.  And by this I mean, as a point of reference for the reader.

Maps for a series of fiction show that the writer has completely thought out their story.  It also allows the reader to visualize locations.  The world is far easier to visualize with a point of reference.

Care still must be given to not provide spoilers with those maps.  Providing maps when they no longer ruin the story is a common practice.  Sometimes though, those maps make it onto the web where they can ruin the experience for the reader.  How does an author contend with these possibilities while providing the best experience possible?

The fear of internet spoilers cannot deter a writer.  At that point, it is the readers responsibility to brows the internet at their own risk.  Maps existing within the story contain too much in helping the ideas portrayed move forward to be hindered by an external fear.

There are also many variants on maps that can be provided.  World Maps are the most common.  City maps and simplified area maps are becoming more common though.  In my novels I will be having all three variants.

As of the writing of this post, I am in the final stages of bringing a few of these maps to life.  I hope you look forward to them soon.

A Most Productive Day

You may have noticed if you follow my blog, but as of late, I have not been writing as much.  I have been distraught, tired, and depressed all the time.  I have not had the energy to really do much of anything and had felt myself wasting away.  That ended today.

Today has been one of the most productive days in my life for quite some time.

Today I started the process to graduate.  If things go well, I will have an associates degree come December.  I'll finally have a paper from the excessive amount of time I have spent in college.

While I was at the college, I began to set a path forward to find better opportunities. I am finding that my current job while rewarding than some of my past experience is very taxing on my body and mind.  It is in my best interest at this point in my life to reduce stress where I can.

Still the fun did not stop there.  After a brief stop today for pizza, I returned home to continue the productivity.

Today I came home and finished writing the prologue for The Messiah of Nightmares.  I intend to have this prologue within the complete publication of The End of Utopia.

Even after that, I continued to write articles for a friend who is rearing up a business of his own.  One that I intend to have a partnership with in the future.

Through the day I even managed to start picking up the pieces of my life and start paying bills that were long overdue to be paid.

As I write this blog post, I can say with confidence that I am quite pleased with today.

Michael McConnohie

I have posted in a few other posts in the past about video games, books, and other media.  In this blog post, I follow this theme with my praise towards the man pictured above.

Michael McConnohie has voiced such an insane number of characters that I grew up loving that I could write a blog post just listing them all.  It helps that the guy owns his own Voice Acting Company.  It also makes me glad to know that even to this day he still does voices of his own choice.  Reminds me that he really enjoys the work.

But as far as notable characters he has gifted his distinct and deep voice to, lets start with the many many (many) characters from Warcraft he has voiced such as Kel Thu(freaking)zad, The Lich King, Uther the Lightbringer, DEATHWING, and most of the Infinite Dragonflight bosses.

Moving to other games, the first time I recognized his voice to the point of noticing it in other places was in Tales of the Abyss where he voices everyone's favorite well intentioned extremist (excluding Lelouch, but I'll get to Code Geass in a moment) who has a mental breakdown at the end, Van Grants.  This entry got its own paragraph because of how much this game was important to my youngest brother.  He has figured just about every single thing that is hidden in Tales of the Abyss short of glitched speed runs.

Back on topic though, I am finally really working through my long Anime list and as I began Code Geass, I heard the man's voice again.  Yep that's right, hes Emperor Britannia.  And although I have not finished Code Geass yet, it would not surprise me if his character here is not so different from Van Grants.  McConnohie is after all, talented at playing manipulative and charming villains.

Awesomeness of Nature

This one should be a given.   Nature is incredible.  Sometimes we spend so much time reflecting on how as a race we can best control this force that we forget to watch this thing that guides our world in action.

Today while at work, I got to watch firsthand in a pretty amazing experience.

It did not start so amazing though.  I was sitting down outside between tasks and felt a brush down by my foot.  I glanced down to find a wasp sitting on my foot.  You may not know this, but I am extremely terrified of these insects.  Frozen with fear, I reflexively brushed the potentially attacking insect to the ground and quickly squashed it before I even realized what I was doing.  I even stomped on it a few times to ensure it was dead.

After catching my breath due to absolute terror, I looked around and waited, preparing for the terrifying situation of the dying insect calling its buddies to attack.  When I understood that I was no longer in danger, I stood up to grab some water.  When I returned, that was when the magic happened.

Nearby, in all its activity lurked an ant colony.  Quickly one of he scouts must have located the now dead wasp.  When I returned, I managed a glance down at the ground where I saw endless black dots as the sugar ants harvested their newest food source.  It was quite humbling to watch as within an hour not a single trace of the wasp.  It had been broken down by the swarm of ants into an edible form and transported to their nearby colony

It now serves as a reminder to me that perhaps instead of trying to tamper with nature, instead we should let it run its natural course.  After all, it worked just fine before Humans existed.  I c an promise it will work just fine after we are gone too.

Deathnote: A Spoiler Free Review

So I am slowly going through my Anime library and watching them in a somewhat methodical order. Many of you likely noticed with all the references to Pride, that I watched Full Metal Alchemist recently.  Deathnote was the next logical Anime to watch.

I thoroughly enjoyed the Anime.  It lived up to the hype that others have given it through the years.  as a student of Psychology, I greatly enjoyed watching a battle between two sociopaths in the forms of Light and L.

The issues of morality and what is right and wrong are the normal lure of this anime.  for me though, considering that I tend to sit in the more extremist camp on many issues clearly found a place with Light's philosophy.  Maybe it indicates a problem with myself, but I never saw a problem with Lights actions from start to finish.  I felt the same about Walter White in Breaking Bad. (On a related note, I was waiting the entire show for Skylar to die)

Still the entertainment value of watching two brilliant chess masters go at it cannot be denied.  Truly, as a man who is obsessed with understanding Sociopaths in real life, I get a different type of enjoyment from the story.  An while that enjoyment begins to lessen a bit toward the final arc of the Anime, it comes right back to full intensity right at the end.

Of course it goes without saying that I would recommend this Anime to any who have not already seen it.  Meanwhile, I will be moving on to Code Geass.

Return to Dragon Ball Z After Many Years

There are few people in m y generation in America that have not heard of this most famous of Anime.  Featuring men with spiky hair that tends to turn golden (and now blue) in combat, its quite iconic.

While I enjoyed it is a child, I grew up and was away from this anime for a while.  Here now I will reflect on my thoughts of this Anime.

I have found as I have matured, I am looking for something very unique story wise.  Dragon Ball by no means has a weak story, but it pales in comparison to an Anime such as Death Note or Full Metal Alchemist(my favorite anime of all time)  Still, the point of Dragon Ball is for its action sequences where witty banter is mixed in for good measure.  In this way, the anime delivers spectacularly.

Returning to watching the characters, I have found that as with many Anime that I loved as a child, I now find the character voices a bit obnoxious and the dialogue even more so.  Of course I am also spoiled when it comes to dialogue.  i spend much of my time reading Brandon Sanderson after all.

I beleive that the reason that I do not enjoy Dragon Ball to the full extent that I should is due to me looking for things that are not there.  Even worse, I am overthinking.  As a writer, that is in my nature, but in this case, I am ruining my own enjoyment of he show.

I digress though.  after watching the newest movie: Dragon Ball Resurrection F, which features Freeza, who is quite possibly the most iconic villain in the series, it will allow me to make that final push to return to my childhood.

I will be watching Dragon Ball Kai.  i cannot judge the full product without having it in front of me after all.

My Strange Strange Relationship with Blizzard Entertainment

I have spent an incredible amount of time playing Blizzard Games.  I payed Brood War quite a bit in early high school which transitioned to me playing World of Warcraft and then back peddling to the Warcraft RTS games.

After spending an obscene amount of my life (all of High School and Half of College) on World of Warcraft, I moved over to Starcraft 2 with a brief stint into Diablo.  Now I find myself playing Hearthstone for at least an hour a day.  I still am awaiting my invite to Overwatch Beta.

So now today i am a little confused on how I feel about Blizzard.  Its almost like I have a Schizophrenic relationship with them.  On one hand, the Grand Tournament looks incredible, but I am incredibly disappointed in Legion, the new Warcraft Expansion.


I have been upset with Blizzard on the Wow lore for years.  It started when the game devs refused to let me impale Maiev Shadowsong's head on a spike in Burning Crusade and in the same moment, let her defeat Illidan in a very furious betrayal by them to me.

It continued in Wrath of the Lich King by focusing on the Lich King which I guess was inevitable.  Still, the best raid of the game was Ulduar and with a change of order of raids, (TOC then Naxx, then ICC, then Ulduar last) Ruby Sanctum would have not been needed and it would have transitioned far better into Cataclysm.  It began at this point that the lore became dumbed down.  Not in the questiong experience, Wrath was great in regards to that, but in how Yogg Saron was handled.

An Old G-d, an Eldritch Abomonation.  Mortals should not be able to defeat a creature such as this without great sacrifice.  At minimum, Dalaran should have been destroyed, or Arthas gets impaled by a tentacle to remind the characters (and the players) who the real power players on Azeroth are.

This trend kept getting worse and worse (also Pandas) and then Deathwing got dummbed down.  Vashjir got aborted, the Mogu became forgotten, and the Old G-ds continued to fail on delivery expansion after expansion.


The final nail was Gul'Dan in Warlords.  He is one of, if not my absolute favorite Warcraft Character.  The only contenders for most atrocities committed compared to the ultimate warlock and his Stormreaver clan would be Azshara, Kil Jaeden, Archimonde, Sargerus, and the Old G-ds (everything listed next to him are vastly more powerful) and then they ruined him in Warlords.

I personally would have had him kill all the Warlords, raise them as Death Knights as his slaves, and done this before the first raid.  It would have been the perfect Red Herring, and just the sort of thing that Gul'Dan would do.  Instead we got a half finished expansion.  The next one does not excite me.

Now Hearthstone on the other hand, has done nothing but excite me these last few months (if not year)  This expansion brings new fun cards.  It brings new gimmicks.  It brings new deck archetypes, and probably will still make face hunter the strongest deck.

Still, even if Face is the Place, Hearthstone I feel has far more resources dumped into it than Wow does.  It should not be this way.  Notice how I spent a lot of time on Wow and very little on Hearthstone?

I played Wow that much more than the card game.  at this point, I am just THAT disappointed in the game.  I hope that hearthstone delivers and that I am wrong about Wow, but I will not keep my hopes up.

Writing a Glossary

I have noticed that an increasing number of Science Fiction and Fantasy Series have set a standard of including a glossary.  The existence of such an reference is to help ease the reader when they have finished the novel.

Many of the new stories including mine, have an incredibly large cast of characters.  In addition, Magic systems are getting far more sophisticated.  When Science Fiction and Fantasy start to mingle, the number of terms a reader needs to keep track to aid the reader.

Below I have listed the early attempts of creating a glossary of my own.  Feedback for this project is appreciated.  Once finished it will be included in the fully published End of Utopia on Amazon.

System of Magic

Magic adheres to the rules of physics, although not in the ways one would expect.  Magic could be described as the amount of change from reality, thus when a Magic User casts a spell, energy in the form of mana is expended equal to the amount of change required for the spell to function.

There are Six different types of mages all drawing upon one type.  As far as chronicled, no person is capable of using more than one type of Magic.

The Six types of magic are as follows:

Solid:  Masters of manipulating solid objects.  Examples of powers include causing earthquakes, calling forth earthen armor, summoning a barrage of boulders or metal.

Liquid:  Masters of manipulating liquid objects.  Examples of powers include summoning tidal waves, healing with soothing fluids, scalding blasts

Gas:  Masters of manipulating gaseous objects. Examples of powers include controlled tornadoes, limited flight, assuming an intangible form.

Plasma:  Masters of manipulating plasma objects.  Examples of powers include calling streams of fire, summoning a lightning storm

Light: Masters of manipulating light.  Examples of powers include bright flashes, illusions, searing blasts.

Dark:  Masters of manipulating darkness.  Examples of powers include blocking out natural light, calling forth vortexes, entering dreams

Within this system, there are forbidden techniques.  One for each type.  These abilities are rare.  They are also very dangerous.  Being much more powerful in how they affect reality, these magic forms become very addictive.  The user craves to draw on these powers more and more.

Solid: Shapeshifting

Liquid: Blood

Gas: Sound

Plasma: Nuclear

Light: Rewrite

Dark: Necromancy

Terms

• Apathy : A supernatural Runeblade that steals adrenaline and gives it to its wielder.  Its origin is unknown.
• Cult of Oracles: An organization that worships Demons.  Their intent is unknown but it is unlikely that Humanity's survival is included.
• Equator Zone: The only part of the planet that is safe for Human existence
• Green Mountains: A mountain range south of Streamwood that is empty of Human creations
• Mana: A renewable resource that forms in the blood of a Magic.  This resource allows a mage
• Mount Asheru:  An active volcano in the southeast Narik Desert
• Narik Desert: A vast desert in the very center of the world.
• Promethean Empire: An Empire that apparently resides in the south of the world beyond the safe zone.  They are fierce enemies of the Cult of Oracles.
• Royal City: The only safe place in the Narik Desert.  A sprawling metropolis in a sea of nothingness.
• Streamwood: A forest nestled in the west of the safe zone.
• Telekinesis: A seeming side effect of manifesting Magic.  Allows one to move objects with their mind
• Telepathy: A seeming side effect of manifesting Magic.  Allows one to communicate with others using their thoughts. Once someone who possesses this ability makes a connection with one who lacks it, Magic is no longer required to continue communication.