The Darkest Hour

The Darkest Hour, a phrase overused for time eternity, and yet a phrase that I enjoy.  One that shapes my writing style greatly.

You know these moments in fiction.  The time when the Villain looks like they may actually win (or does win in some cases changing the plot entirely) The moment where the trusted friend proves they were an enemy all along.  The point in the dark fantasy where an entire country of the religion of evil is committing suicide en mass to feed the dark eldritch abomination.

No where I feel is this easier to spot than in video games and to really show praises for some of the more memorable ones, I will mention them here.  They are the easiest in my opinion to find due to a couple of factors.  Factors that really separate them from even novels in storytelling.  The music.

In novels and to some degree, TV, the reader has to deduce what is going on due to what they have seen before.  In Video games, the darkest hour is when the World Map music changes to minor key, when the preparations screen music changes to a darker tone.  The part where who you thought was the villain is either dead, worse than dead, or has joined the good guys and an even worse threat has appeared.

Some notable examples of this idea in video games are the Dragon's Table in Fire Emblem Awakening, Hollow Bastian in Kingdom Hearts, The entire second half of Final Fantasy VI, The Ocean Palace in Chrono Trigger,  Derris Kharlan in Tales of Symphonia.  There are so many examples that I cannot possibly list them all but these are ones that are exceptional and even take the idea of Darkest Hour to the most extreme.

The reason I mention this idea is that while there is still one part of The End of Utopia remaining, I have begun writing the newest draft of Book 2: The Messiah of Nightmares.  Compared to the first book, there is much more at stake in the plot, and I even will be revisiting a few darkest hours in the past of my own life to properly feel the emotions needed to write this novel.

Why I Am Distancing Myself From Dating

Lately I have noticed a vast number of my friends getting married and in some cases even having children.  Not the accidental kinds either.  These are adults making rational decisions.  Not children jumping into situations they have little understanding of.

Yet, I am not one of these adults.  This lack of a love life or family has my family and a few of my friends alarmed.  Many are worried about me being all alone.  I will admit, at night, I do fear this frequently.  But that is at night when I go to bed.  When I am awake, it hardly crosses my mind.  Now, I will be focusing on what does cross my mind instead.

Instead of spending much if any time on relationships, I have spent every moment awake bettering myself.  From writing Novels, to creating Blog Posts, to working Low Paying Jobs, I am focusing on Me First instead of others.  I cannot make the world a better place until I have made myself a better place.

I may spend many nights alone.  I may be made fun of by my friends at bars when I have no ambition to flirt with strange women while drunk.  I may not even go out as much as i want to just to avoid having to think about these things.  But I know in the long run, a better me will make a better life.  A better life for myself, and for everyone who chooses to be part of mine.

Politics At the Dinner Table

My last couple of posts have been goofy so this time, I'm going to focus on a more serious issue.

Those of you who have read some of my other posts my realize that I am a fan of George Carlin's work and seek to continue teaching what he preached.  Obviously if you have watched his comedy shows, the title of this post may be familiar to you as it was stated by him.

And now to get to the issue at heart.  Politics at the dinner table.  One of the greatest taboos in our country for sure.  There are three things Americans love to NEVER discuss at the dinner table: Politics, Religion, Abortion.

And yet, its issues like these that we must discuss at the dinner table.

The idea behind a Republic which is the form of government that America has (or is supposed to have at least) is required to have an educated populace that understands key issues so that they can vote accordingly.  Sadly, those key issues have become topics that are seen as ones to be avoided.  As a result, our political system is in turmoil and filled with incompetent leadership.  Since our discussions are simple minded instead of advanced, our political leaders are also simple minded.  A direct reflection of the people who elect them.

Instead of continuing with this insanity, I propose we do something about this issue.  The best part about this problem is unlike many many issues, this one has a very fixable and realistic solution.  To have a better educated government starts with a better educated population.  So instead of avoiding these big issues at our dinner tables with our families, bring them to the forefront and know that others will be doing the same.

Cheesing Boss Fights

As I wrote in a prior blog post, I suffered greatly in Legend of Zelda Skyward Sword to master the control scheme and caused poor Link to get wrecked and taunted and Demon Lord Ghirahim blocked his and by proxy my attacks again and again.

But that came to an end the other day.  For I had my rematch with the (spoilers) Sword Turned Demon Lord.  This time, the one playing around was me as I cheesed the fight.

For those of you who do not know what that means, to cheese a fight is to do some unusual or gimmick strategy.  In this case, like in the first fight, Ghirahim uses his hands to block Link's sword swings, but this time, I used my shield as well to slightly alter my swing making it much harder for him to fight me.

Later in the same fight I also used that same shield to bash him in the face to stun him and get some free attacks.

He was not the only boss I cheesed.  The Imprisoned (aka Demise) is normally hard because to hit his feet requires dodging shock waves and the fight cannot be taken slow.  You can ignore these mechanics if you fly up to the top of the room and just land on his head where that wonderful spike is just asking to be shoved into his skull.

I may not be a speed runner, but it is satisfying when you can use those players tactics in a practical sense.

Charity and Greed

This is a topic that I spend a lot of time thinking about.  Its also a topic that most wish to spend as little time on as possible.

Due to the nature of one of my current jobs, I ask people to help make a donation to save those that are homeless.  I have heard just about every excuse of why a person is unable to donate with the most common ones being "I already did this week" and "Not today".  Obviously most of these people are lying.  But the reasons for this lying that is almost automatic in our capitalist driven economy run very deep and that is the point of this blog post.

Capitalism itself is an idea that the harder people work, the more they will gain.  Thus charity, which is seen as doing work for others, is seen as against the ideas of this economic policy.  We thus live in a society that is all about me, me and more me.  Helping others is a waste of time unless they can help us in return.  At least that is what Capitalism teaches.

But it goes even deeper.  Tell a wealthy individual or a true Capitalist to help the poor and they will accuse you of being a Socialist despite the fact that being wealthy and in power is one of the major requirements of being a socialist.  Most people don't know what the word means.  You may also be accused of being a Communist because to even comment that the poor should be helped by the more fortunate is a form of redistribution of wealth.  This of course is not the truth at all.

Sadly donating to charity seems to be a thing that only wealthy people are supposed to do, as said by a poor individual.  The wealthy will make the claim that everyone should donate.  The result is the same though.  In reality, both groups are just saying that everyone else should donate, but not them.  Their money is valuable and they worked hard for it.  How dare we suggest they give some of it away?

So instead of continuing on, I will suggest a solution.  Instead of waiting for someone else to do the right thing, be the one to make a difference.  I am talking to you, yes you!  If enough people defy the social norm of not helping others, it will not be long before the social norm IS helping others.  I am doing my part to help and I suggest if like me, you want the world to be a better place, it would be wise to do the same.

Training for T3

As some of you may be aware, and that the rest of you soon will be made known of, I am running a very tough race known as T3 in a few weeks.  This all day event will push me to my absolute limit in physical ability as well as mental.

Obviously, one does not simply walk into a race of this difficulty unprepared.  I have been training for the race for more than a year now.  As the race looms quite close, that training has intensified.

Lately I have been doing workouts that involve diving into freezing cold water while treading the water without the use of my arms.  While in that same water I also have been practicing power breathing and and diving without the use of my arms.  In fact, the water exercises prohibit use of arms at all minus the actual swimming portions.

The most important aspect of all involving T3 is that it is a team race.  To that end, the entire team over the last few weeks has been completing challenges all together such as running separate increments and combining them together.  This team bonding which is something remnant of army march style friendship is an incredible experience to be a part of.

In a few weeks, I intend to survive the race and become part of a very small group known as the elite. However, I must ensure that I am really prepared.  There is a reason that the number is so small.  Many have tried, few have succeeded.  It will take more than my unstoppable resolve to win or rather, survive this race.

Also for those who want to know more about this incredible race and other amazing workouts go here:
http://www.regimentrunning.com/t3live/

Ethos

Many writers get stopped in their pursuit of making their works of art their prime source of income, but since money is an issue that many of us all share and one that we spend quite a deal of time discussing, I have decided to address an issue that is more unique to my situation.

I have an issue with Ethos, a word that constantly aggravates me in countless ways.

First there are the practical applications of the term.  Ethos is a form of persuasion.  It is the ability to appear credible to an audience that one is speaking to.  Without credibility, no matter what I say, profound or not, it will not matter to the people I speak to if they do not take me seriously.

As I have researched again and again how to gain more credibility when I speak or write or whatnot, one word appears again and again, which prompted me to search for the meaning of this word as well.  The word I speak of is Confidence.

No word has possibly more meanings than this word.  To some degree the word has over 7 billion definitions.  One for every person who lives on Earth.  The complexity of such a definition renders this path of the research moot.  So, I decided to look at the original meaning of the word and turned to Latin.

This yielded much better and far more interesting results.  In Latin, the word Confidence roughly translates to "Lying with Skill".  With that in mind, I turn now back to initial problem, the hurdle that I still now am trying to overcome.  Ethos.

Realizing that Confidence is just really skillful deception reminded me of a few things.  First and foremost among them is that I am on the Autistic Spectrum, not on the Anti Social Personality one.   And while Sociopaths once again seem to have everything easier than everyone else, it is a bit terrifying when you realize that one of the conditions for strong Ethos is to be a Pathological Liar.

Being that most of our politicians are really good at lying (at least in theory) and that much respect is given to them, this supports my hypothesis.

The question still begs though.  If I am not a Pathological Liar, or a Sociopath and seen even by my friends as the eccentric Uncle at the Family Reunion, how do I gain the Ethos to speak in front of world audiences in my goals to improve the world.

If my desire is to use my courage to speak out against oppression to all minorities, not just the flavor of the week ones, how do I gain the trust of people to be listened to?  This is a work in progress and I hope to find these answers soon.

The End of Utopia Part 2

Tomorrow will be a momentous day for me.  The second Part of The End of Utopia will be available for digital download on Amazon.  I have spent quite a deal of time on this series but in many of my drafts, I found that the section that you will read starting tomorrow lacking.

This final rendition was a heavy revamp of the middle section of the second book.  Much ha been changed from the original and I think it is for the best.  I originally wrote books 1 and 2 when I was in High School and a lot of things in my life have changed since then.

This darker and more adult version of part 2 is exactly how I always envisioned the story to be.  It just took me growing up a bit to get it to where I wanted.

I am very excited with how the countless battle scenes that play out over its pages flow.  And I am sure those of you who have completed Part 1 want more of Yashel and you will.

Even better, those of you who read carefully the first part of the End of Utopia may have noticed a few characters talking about a shadowy group.  In this part, you will meet them.  And as the lovely Knights of Cerubus (that's a trope not their actual name) that they are, the story will grow darker and the plot will thicken.

Fasten your seat belts and hold your emotions in check for the End of Utopia is coming.  And not everyone may escape alive...

Fighting With Despair

Some of you may know this, but others do not.  I have had an ongoing battle with depression for most of my life.  That feeling of hopelessness called despair, is even now, a constant companion.  Fear of failure stalks me at every turn.  The feeling that I need to succeed to be happy is my one ambition.  But deep down, this primal fair of being useless and amounting to nothing is the most notable idea in my thoughts.

Every day, I question myself about what I am:  An author that is still struggling to gain a reader base. A Human Rights Activist who fight for Autistics and Jews around the world.  A retail worker desperate to get away from the constant cycle of intense work with little reward. A social outcast who has too big of a mouth forcing his friends away.

This is me being honest about how I see myself.  This is me being truthful about my flaws as a human being.  I pray every day that I can find my way in the world on my terms.  Ethos is my hurdle to cross and my greatest enemy.  For when I am taken seriously, I can reach my goals.

This is a catch 22 of course.  To be taken seriously, people need to listen and for people to listen, one must be taken seriously.  I find it discomforting to say the least the lack of faith those around me seem to have in my abilities.  

I can only escape into the worlds I weave for so long. Only save fictional worlds from destruction for so long before I am pulled back to reality to be reminded of the real dangers of this realm.

Each day I continue walking forward is another day of depression defeated, but even the strongest man will tire eventually when carrying heavy shackles with every step.  And while this self doubt remains in my heart, those chains will endure.

Jarlaxle Baenre

Surprised? I did warn you I intended to write a blog post on him.

This post is dedicated and about one of my favorite fictional characters of all time and quite possibly the greatest example of magnificent bastard in fantasy. (Even if his brother Gromph constantly outsmarts him)

Jarlaxle Baenre is a Drow Elf that is quite difficult to describe.  You could call him Elf, Pirate, Ninja, Wizard, Mercenary, Trickster, Deus Ex Machina, or all of the above and it would be true.  He has a magical item for every single occasion and has the ability to plan thin gs so far in advance that its impossible for the reader or the characters he interacts with to figure out anything hes up to.

In the more recent books, it has gotten to the point where Drizzt and friends don't even question what he is up to.  they just know its best to do what he recommends.  In addition, when other characters question Drizzt about if the Drow can make such claims, the famous Ranger tends to respond "Its Jarlaxle" and that tends to answer any doubt.

He's always in it for himself, bu that usually means a profit and some good fun.  Also important, he will never completely betray Drizzt due to a promise he made to the Drow Ranger's Father.  And trust me when I say that this is a guy you want on your side.

When I say magical weapons for any occasion, I mean any.  He can block mind reading, summon a bird from his hat, shoot acid from one wand and other magic from another.  Has a never ending supply of throwing knives and hes always getting cool new toys to add to his collection. 

While coming from an undisputed family of badass, Jarlaxle manages to stay ahead of all the other characters and that to me warrants him as my favorite in the whole series.

On a Favorite Series of Mine

This week, I got the fantastic chance to delve once more into the newest installment of one of my favorite Authors of all: RA Salvatore.

His Legend of Drizzt series which is now 30 books strong (and counting) has kept me captivated for years when I first jumped into Homeland and was shown the dark intrigue of the Drow.

In this latest book, titled: Vengeance of the Iron Dwarf, the epic tales of everyone's favorite Drow Ranger and his Companions of the Hall continue as they group fights against a massive Army of Orcs, Drow, Frost Giants, and even White Dragons.  I do not wish to give spoilers in this post, instead I will be giving praises to the author and this series as a whole.

I have read every single legend of Drizzt book that exists as well as many other stories within the Forgotten Realms Universe.  Salvatore always manages to bring me back to his books with a lovable Dark Elf and his equally lovable friends.  I must not also ignore the fact that like myself, Salvatore favors Dwarves over Elves. Many other authors do not share our love of the stoic and very very brave folk. And not just because modern Dwarves are based heavily on the Jews either as another of my blog posts has highlighted.

This book also gives me the chance to revisit my favorite Drow in Forgotten Realsm (and its not Drizzt) who also happens to be my favorite Magnificent Bastard in all of Fiction: Jarlaxle Baenre.
I will certainly be dedicating a blog post to this awesome character in the future, but for now, just know that he makes an appearance in this newest novel.

Salvatore's incredible ability to create magical items with such uniqueness and skill has in no small part helped me create the ones that are present in my own books.  And the creativity of the magic users he write about also in no small art have helped me make the more pragmatic ones well... pragmatic.

To say that I enjoy his writing style and stories is an understatement.  I would recommend all of my friends who have a knack for Fantasy to read his writing.  It will not disappoint I promise.

Questions to my Readers

So I have decided every so often to write a Blog Post to gain feedback from my viewers.  This is one of those posts.

I seek to write about an assortment of topics that are relevant in today's world as well as provide insight into ideas that are important to everyone.  I also seek to educate about issues that many are too afraid to bring to the table.  To this end, I have some questions to ask my viewers to help improve my blog.

1) What topics would you like to see discussed?

2) What Posts are your favorites/ones that you dislike?

3) How do you feel about the format of my blog?

4) How easy/difficult is it to actually comment on my blog?

5) Areas of my writing that need work/you seem to enjoy?

6) Blog posts that seemed random and did not contribute to the rest of the posts?

7) What other feedback do you have for me?  

I hope to see some comments below.  If not, I will take a guess that the 4th question is the cause of the problem

Ways People Try to Make the World a Better Place That Do Not Work

There are lots of people who in the world who strive to improve the world.  sadly, many of them are misinformed about how to go about doing so.  Today I will outline these ways that people are failing to improve the world.

The first way I will outline, is the person who refuses to use plastic bags at the grocery store.  The logic they use is the less plastic bags they use, the better the environment will become from lack of use.  Lets ignore the fact that these people make it a nightmare for anyone who works retail, and instead look at the environment.

Plastic is made from oil.  Oil is the main way that fuel is created in our society.  When plastic bags are used less, then the production of bags goes down.  Instead the oil is used for fuel which increases green house gas emissions.  In addition, this slows down the overall use of the oil.  So long as oil is a viable source of fuel, investors will be less likely to invest in greener sources.  As much as idealists want to think that a majority of people care about the environment, what most people care about is how they can make as much money as they can as quickly as they can.  Those who wish for the wealthy to invest in green energy, they do what they can to help the oil run out.

Plastic may not be good for the environment, but it does not contribute to greenhouse gasses like most other petroleum products do.

While we are on talks of clean energy, lets not ignore the one source of clean fuel that investors already stick a lot of money into, but that environmentalists are opposed to.  I speak of course of Nuclear Energy.

People fear Nuclear Energy due to the risk of a meltdown which has the capabilities to destroy large swaths of land.  What people forget though, is the chance of a meltdown is so small that there is a greater chance of being struck by lightning and attacked by a shark in the same lifetime than experiencing this disaster if one was to live near nuclear plants their entire life.

Still people carry their fears from the Cold War, where Nuclear apocalypse has been over dramatized and over romanticized.  Yes Nuclear fallout is very very deadly, but we cannot put poison in the air from coal natural gas and oil just because we fear a nuclear explosion that it is more than highly unlikely to ever occur.

The third and the one that the most people do poorly, is donating to the wrong charities.  There are a whole lot of charities out there that claim they are non for profit, but that just really means that they are not paying taxes on the money they earn.  Always, and I repeat, ALWAYS check to see the percentage of money donated that goes to charity.  If the charity does not list this information, do not donate. They cannot be trusted.  By law they have to list this data.

If the money mostly goes to the business, once again, do not donate.  It is sad that this rule of searching will eliminate most charities.  Its an indicator that greedy people will do what they can to sucker money out of their pockets.

Hopefully as you read this, you can do what you can to help the environment.  And also you hopefully will not fall for these tricks like so many others have.

Purim and what it means this year

Tonight begins the Jewish Holiday of Purim.  Quite frankly this is the greatest Jewish holiday ever.  We read a special biblical text called the Magillah and are commanded to get completely intoxicated beforehand.  The reason for this is so that as we rad the story of Esther, we cannot tell villain from hero.

For those of you unfamiliar with all the other fun parts of Purim, basically imagine this:  Combine Halloween, Christmas, and America's St Patrick's Day into one holiday and you have Purim.  Sounds pretty awesome right?

Well now that I have my fun being silly, I'm gonna talk about what we read in the Magillah, which is anything but silly.

I doubt there is anyone who will read this post who is unfamiliar with the Holocaust, but this is not the only time that antisemitism has reached such a point that an entire nation was calling for the death of all Jews.  Oh no, the story of Purim is one other such story.  This time, the threat came from Persia.  The adviser to the King, a man named Haman, wished to see the Jews destroyed due to the actions of one man, Mordechai who refused to bow before him, stating "I only bow before G-d"

Haman set out to trick the King of Persia into destroying the Jews.  The king, who researchers have discovered was none other than Xerxes the First fell for the trick and wrote a declaration for the destruction of the Jews.  Being that many of the Jews in the world lived within the Persian Empire at the time, this decree would have been catastrophic if not for one very brave individual.

This young woman was Esther.  Today we fast just as she did before she went before the king.  Now I think its needed here to explain a little about her.

Esther had become the Queen of Persia after the former Queen, Vashti had been exiled for refusing the King's summons and so he had brought every female in the land to him and not one he decided had beauty equal to Esther.

Esther happened to be Mordechai's cousin and as such, when Haman declared the death of the Jews due to his actions, he went to her and they decided that since both were Jewish, they needed to convince the King to undo the decree for the sake of Judaism.

Unfortunately, even the queen could not enter the King's chambers uninvited.  When one entered these chambers unannounced, one of two things would happen.  Either the king would raise his staff, and the onlookers were allowed to enter, or he would not move it which was a death sentence to anyone who was entering the room.

After Esther fasted for a day of intense prayer to G-d, she bravely entered the room.  Her prayers were answered though as she was permitted to enter.  She did not immediately unmask Haman for the trickster that he was immediately, instead, she played a massive gambit game, that resulted in Haman being killed on the very gallows he built to kill Mordechai.  Also every one of his known children were killed right beside him.  (there are rumors that a few escaped and that Hitler himself may be related to one of them)

Sadly, the King could not undo the proclamation.  What he did instead was made it legal for the Jewish people to fight back.  And fight back they did and despite the fact that they were facing the infamous Persian Immortals, they came out victorious.

Now that you have the history lesson, let us get the what that means for the Jewish people today.

Yesterday Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu spoke in front of the United States Congress about a Nuclear Iran.  A country that seeks to destroy Israel and ultimately the Jewish people.  For those of you who are not so great at Geography, Iran and Persia are the same place!

The Persians are once again trying to kill us, only this time, we have a country of our own.  As Bibi (his nickname) said so close to the truth last night: "If Israel needs to stand alone, it will stand" The story of Purim teaches us that when we fight for what is right and defend ourselves from evil, we will win.  And that evil is right there in Iran.  Even if there is an equal evil known as Isis fighting them, we cannot consider Iran an ally because they fight another one of our enemies.  To quote Bibi again: "The Enemy of my enemy, is still my enemy"  These words are absolutely true and form a number of plot twists in my own novels.

I am sorry President Obama and John Kerry.  I may have voted for you and on most issues I stand with you, but when it comes to Israel and Iran, you cannot continue down this road of appeasement.  It will only lead to death when dealing with men with murder in their eyes and genocide in their hearts.

New Lessons from a Video Game that Defined my Childhood

There are three video games I played frequently as a child that could easily be described by this title, but of the three, one of them really stands out.  As a child, there were quite a few things I got out of the game that I will spend this post describing.  9/11 was still fresh in my mind and the plot of this game gave me a lot to think about in regards to Al Quida, but now as an adult, there is so much more to observe as I can really understand the many many elements of racism that make up the incredibly complex plot.

The game I am speaking of is Tales of Symphonia.  A game that not only defined my childhood, but also helped define my writing.

When I was young, I became fascinated with the idea of angels being evil and religion being used to deceive and control the world.  But that was not all that fascinated me about the game at the time.  9/11 had just happened a few years prior, and the idea that the Desians (who to me represented Al Quida) and Cruxis (who to me represents the establishment) were really the same group and use fear to keep the world under their control by ensuring there is always conflict.

After my life was changed forever by terrorism, this idea really resonated with me, and my lack of trust in the world certainly was helped along by this game.  But now as an adult, I am able to understand more about the other theme of the game, racism, and every single one of its facets.

There are 4 mortal races in Tales of Symphonia:  Humans, Elves, Dwarves, and Half Elves.

The racism stems from Humanities discrimination of Half Elves.  In the back story of the game, Half Elves were targeted by hate crimes.  This is turn forced many Half Elves to become inherently hateful of Humans until they returned the hate crimes in kind.

Coming into the main game, most of the villains in the game are Half Elves still holding hatred of Humans in their hearts and declaring their superiority at every given moment.

On the flip side, the Half Elves that are not part of Cruxis and the Desians are treated with intense hatred in Sylvarant and in Tethealla they are treated even worse.  In that country, they are considered below slaves even.  They are executed without question of they are found guilt of any crime no matter how petty.

The ones who are scientists are locked in labs never allowed to see the sun and forced to work without much sleep for unrealistic expectations for their Human masters.

This perpetration of racism going back and forth making the hatred intensify for every party involved is exactly what one of the greatest issues facing our society today.  People hold on to the past and even though they are justified for their hatreds, keeping the hatred alive, ensures that the world will never move forward from the past.

Instead of learning from the past, we are instead just letting it happen again and again.  More lives will continue to be lost in this war that can have no winner until all sides are willing to be the bigger man and move on.