Five Things No One Tells you About Asperger's Syndrome

This post is a combination of click bait and Cracked.com formatting.  Here we go

1) Communication goes out the window... Both Directions

It is commonly known that people on the Autism Spectrum including Asperger's Syndrome (Which I will abbreviate as AS from here on out)  have trouble reading body language which is considered to be the most important aspect of communication.  What is not mentioned is that people cannot read the body language of the person on the spectrum either.

Considering that communication requires body language, perhaps the idea that people with AS are creepy is actually a response from a Neurotypical (a non autistic, which will be abbreviated as NT from here on out) when they feel the communication is a little, well, off.  I find it unusual that more people have not made this connection with the way they classify people with AS as generally odd and a feeling of something being different about them.

It gets even stranger.  You know that feeling you have when someone stands behind you?  That sense of being watched.  Your body knows someone is there.  Which leads to the next point.

2) We are like stealthy ninjas.

Unlike NTs, when a person with AS stands behind someone, their lack of body language normalcy actually causes them to remain undetected.  This creates that whole creepy factor associated with the condition.  I have been asked why I speak so much.  The real reason is that I vanish quite quickly when I shut my mouth as do all AS people.

It certainly can be beneficial to be unseen when we want to be.  In fact many people with AS who are tired of being rejected by their peers seem to disappear from everything just by being quiet.  Others like me just use this skill to surprise our Mothers, who should be used to this sort of thing by now.  Still the amount of times I walk up to someone and tap them on the shoulder to watch them jump is quite amusing.  Other times, people walk into me due to not noticing my presence.

3) Society assumes we are all super geniuses...  and judges us as if we are.


People who know me well realize that I am driven by equal parts pride and ambition.  In fact, between my books, this blog, and all the crazy things I try to do from day to day, I aspire to make myself larger than life.  Part of that is due to my own ego, but it is equal parts due to society telling me I have to be this way.

Thanks to the romanticized Hollywood version of AS, the whole world assumes that this is how we actually are.  Unfortunately, because of this conception of our great talents, whether true or not, we have no choice but to be the best of the best.  Society won't accept us any other way.  And despite what you may know about Autism, the biggest difference in people with AS is our desire to be part of the world.

If this world does not accept us for who we are as humans, then we take it to the next level and become something more.  We become something greater than the average man.  sadly, it translates to lots of very frustrated people.  Not everyone can be wealthy and famous.  Some have to be poor and miserable.  Loneliness is of course a great fear in a person with AS.  We are willing to do all that we can to be divine among men per say to escape this fear.

4) Sociopaths seek us out


Imagine the most terrifying person possible.  A person capable of telling you a complete lie and you believe them.  A person capable of killing their own children and getting away with it clean.  A person who rapes and beats people and then convinces the people around them that the victim is the real problem.  If you know someone like this, congratulations, you have met a Sociopath.

It should then become scary to realize that any time an AS comes anywhere near a person with Anti Social Personality Disorder, (the scientific name for Sociopath which will be called ASPD from here on out) their attention will be directed at us.

Many AS find themselves in social situations where one moment, we are friends with everyone, and the next moment, everyone in the room is either pushing us to leave, or even worse, becoming violent.  This can be due to the subtle manipulations of an ASPD individual.  Their charms and manipulations allow them to control the situation, whatever it may be, and the first casualty is almost assured to be a person with AS.

When you see a situation such as this, do not assume that all is as it seems.  Remember, NTs, that this individual can make fiction seem like fact and vice versa.  Always try to figure out all sides of an issue before you choose to act.  You never know what actions may come as a result.

5) People with Asperger's Syndrome help each other

This is the most unknown point of this list.  Don't assume that people with AS ignore each other.  We help each other immensely.  Entire websites exist where we help each other.  From social situations to video gaming, to even sports. (which we do play)  Its almost like a religon of sorts except its not one that you convert to.

Still we help each other.  We speak to each other.  Know that when you mess with one AS, basically all the others will know about it.  We gossip just like other Humans.  We bring each other hope and when an NT or ASPD crosses one of us, the rest of us know quite quickly.

Crafting a Sequel

The End of Utopia is complete and is on Amazon to read.  But that's not what this post is about.  Instead I will go into the method for how I will continue with the next book.

Book 1 was certainly no lighthearted fantasy story, but for the most part, the reader gets  a feeling that the heroes can win.  A feeling that things will be ok, despite the cynical atmosphere.  Without spoiling anything of course, it doesn't last.

Book 2 however, is titled The Messiah of Nightmares and right from the get go, it reminds the reader of the terrible predicament(s) the heroes face.  Its more than that though.  If written well, this second novel will be an emotional roller coaster.  And not just for the reader, but for the writer as I continue to add pages to the book.

For me to correctly write this novel with the intensity it deserves, I will need to visit the darkest and most horrifying memories of my past.  A book seething with so much darkness, must be shrouded in such from its inception.

Returning to College

These last few years have been a wild ride.  In and out of multiple jobs.  Finally realizing that working retail is the greatest cancer in the job world.  Getting a book published.  Creating this blog also happened.

This summer I began taking online course again to make up or a more than 2 year lapse in my education.  Still one class is an insignificant part of my life and does not warrant an explanation.  What does however matter is that I will be attending school full time this fall.

I am trying to go into this renewed experience with optimism.  The pain of the last three years that I had spent at college are now behind me.  The old weak me that allowed himself to be Cyber bullied into the ground and allowed pathetic excuse for human beings to trick him into following their rules and advice is long dead.  He has been replaced by the jaded cynic you all know today.

Still this new me is ready to return to the classroom.  I am now mature enough that the social drama of a failing Greek System is the least of my concerns.  While student organizations will still be on my mind, the piece of paper that will allow me to gather other pieces of paper will be foremost as my goal.

Instead, my greatest fear now is whether college is worth it.  The way the debt (both mine and general student) has increased over the years, I would need to be making roughly $90,000 a year starting out to make it out ahead.  Will it be worth it after all the pain and misery I experienced in my younger years combined with an entire decade of my life that has been largely wasted at tasks far beneath me along side a love life that could be the punchline of a comedy skit?

My fear is not at all.  My greatest fear of all is that I will continue to live a squandered life because we live in a society ruled by people that go out of their way to ensure people like me with new ideas fail.

Bayard Rustin and the Greatest Failure of the Civil Rights Movement

When the Equality of Marriage Law bill passed, most non far right conservative groups were overjoyed.  That what I would like to say at least, but it seems this was far from the truth.

One group in particular that is still incredibly opposed to this law is the Black Community.

I found this appalling.  How could men and woman who have the rights they do in America in part due to a Gay (Black) Man turn against this group.  Bayard Rustin is not pleased wherever he may be now.  Then again, he was chased out of the movement he helped create after they got what they want.  Perhaps this was just a foreshadow of what was to come.

Still, I wonder if the Black Community is aware of the fact that they have become pawns in a game that they really do not want to be playing.  While they help a scary and violent minority on the far right oppress an entire group in such a way that their deeds are slowly becoming a majority of the population, I wonder if the Black Community sees the danger coming their way?

Take it from me:  A Jewish, Brown, Autistic Male.  All that is missing is Gypsy and Gay and I would be the poster child for most hated Human on the planet.  The Black Community has no business fighting against another minority.  For as they should know by now, once one minority group is on a chopping block, its not too long till others are as well.

The Black Community needs to look towards the ones who gave them their rights.  The ideas for equality do not stop at your community, or any one community.  Focusing only on yourselves will just allow your enemies to isolate and destroy you.  As a Jew, take it from me, it happens frequently.  Don't make it you.

Bayard Rustin sacrificed much to create a world that was more free.  His reward was betrayal and being ousted from his own movement.  Let us learn from this lesson and not allow ourselves to be divided and conquered.

Any Human Rights issue must encompass all Humans, or its doomed to help bigots everywhere in their wanton death dealing.

Burnout

We have all known the feeling.  Extremely overworked.  Apathy and low energy as constant companions.  As a writer this struggle is more constant than my shadow.

Work is currently taking a lot of my energy away.  Unlike just about any other job I have had, this one is not doing so due to a hostile environment.  For the first time in my life, the job I have is far more physically exhausting than anything else.

This has made it quite difficult for me to write.  When I work 5 days a week, I am forced to cram everything else into the remaining 2 days and one learns quickly just how little time is in a day when pressed.

School starts for me full swing in a month and with my future housing situation still filled with too many unknowns, it is hard for me not to be worried about my immediate future.   With my book still not selling well enough for me to quit my day job and just all the outside fears I bear, burnout is making a home in my heart.

Even as I write this blog post that I feel is directionless, I keep correcting typos every few words.  My hands meekly slither across the keyboard.  I am feeling tired, too tired to function at optimal capacity and it worries me.

Why I love Soft Sci Fi

After writing a blog post on why I hated hard sci fi and then tearing 2312 a new asshole, today I will explain why I love soft sci fi while praising Mistborn.

I have to credit author Brandon Sanderson as one of my greatest inspirations for writing.  He along with RA Salvatore are among my favorite authors.  But before I bring up Legend of Drizzt again, I'll continue to the point of this post.

Soft Sci Fi bring with it all sorts of incredible scientific phenomenon along with rich stories and exceptional characters.  Its brother lacks the second and third, abandoning them for the sake of explaining science more extensively than Tolkien described rolling hills.

Mistborn exemplifies everything that 2312 lacks.  Exceptional story telling, and equally fantastic characters that fill its pages from cover to cover.  Notable mention goes to Vin, the Female Protagonist.  One of my favorite heroes in ficiton and quite frankly one of the best constructed female characters I have ever read about.  she is the standard that I hold each and every one of my female characters to.  The standard rags to riches story for her gets thrown out the window almost immediately in standard Sanderson fashion.

The story of Mistborn which started as 3 novels and has now become at least 6 but probably 9 or more, has plot twists that you won't expect no matter how genre savvy you might be.  the science has not been abandoned either as Sanderson emplys one of his famous magical systems (or rather three, but I cannot mention them all without spoiling the series,)  And is filled with some of the most unique takes on mythological monsters.  The Kandra is a rather interesting take on shapeshifting spirits.  the Koloss, a rather out of the box take on Orcs that focuses far more on their brutal nature and makes them more than just standard mooks.  But my favorite of the monsters in Mistborn would have to be the Steel Inquisitors which take the idea of multiple monsters and manages to create something completely new.

Thats a Steel Inquisitor.  Yes those are spikes through its eyes.  Yes that is important to the plot of the books.

I really cannot stress how fantastic this series is.  I also cannot stress how much better soft sci fi is over hard sci fi with this book series proving straight up why.

The End of Utopia Part 3

It took quite a bit of work, but now that I have completed part 3, I can say with confidence that I managed to get an entire book published.

I found the final segment of the novel to be the easiest to write.  Perhaps this was due to finally getting the plot to fall into place after a whole lot of setup.  I will be frank though, the ending is not what readers will expect.  I hope this becomes the theme of my writing.  I plan to do the unexpected, as Brandon Sanderson, my favorite author of all time continues to do in his own works.

I have already begun work on book 2: The Messiah of Nightmares.  This book will be easier to write than the first.  Indeed, most of the work for this second novel has already been done.  In its very original rendition, books 1 and 2 were part of a book that is actually shorter than the End of Utopia is now.

Many of the details that make the story so incredible were missing from my original draft.  I also found the best tone to tell the story, as the original though by no means light, became much darker through all the rewrites.

I hope you get a chance to enjoy my first novel in the near future and look forward to book 2, which I plan to have the first third of that story ready by November.

Iran, Nukes, Israel, And the Middle East

A lot of Facebook feeds are aflame with the current issues regarding Iran.  Many of my friends as well as the media has only be paying attention to this issue in very recent days.  However, I have been watching this problem grow over the course of many years.  So here, I offer my more than ten cents on this issue that I feel I can educate you on better than the media hopes to.

Before I continue, yes I am Jewish, and I'm liberal too (which may surprise you a bit when you read the rest of this post)  Does this mean I am biased?  Of course it does.  But ask yourself this simpleton if you have a problem with that.  Who isn't biased on every issue?  That is no blanket statement, its fact.  Avoiding bias just is not possible when one is a rational thinking individual.  With that out of the way, lets continue.

President Obama, along with Secretary of State John Kerry have reached an agreement with Iran.  One that Congress claims it will do everything in its power to veto.  But lets be honest here, Congress cannot even get a 2/3 majority on what day of the week it is.  This deal is gonna stick.  Despite the fact that I voted for Obama twice, there are a few of his policies that I have always been opposed to.  This is one of them.

Lets be honest.  Iran is a rogue nation that has a government that wants to see America, Israel, and most importantly, Saudi Arabia crushed.  And unlike Lebanon and Syria who share all the same enemies, Iran is far more dangerous.  They are smarter, better armed, much better off economically (despite the sanctions) and most importantly, they are far more subtle and patient.  Dealing with them in any way is a mistake.  Especially in a way that gives them any ability to improve themselves economically.

Now lets look at the most obvious issue of all.  This deal was passed in the hopes that it would slow down (not stop) Iran's breakout period.  Better known as the time it would take the country to build a bomb and have the ability to use it.  This entire idea is foolish when you consider two things:

1) How does one prevent a country from building one of these?
Syria managed to build nukes years ago and that country is far less stable than Iran.  The only reason Isis isn't using those nukes now is because Israel blew them up years ago by the way.  Wouldn't even surprise me if somewhere in the country, Assad has more of those nukes.  He has Saran Gas (a chemical weapon) what says he doesn't have other WMDs? (weapons of mass destruction)  Also Isis has that chemical weapon.  The fact that it has not been used should make you very afraid of them.  I digress, lets get to the second issue and focus back on Iran and not Syria.

2) What happens when we reach the breakout period?
This is the question I am worried about.  Iran almost assuredly has bombs that could be detonated right now.  The problem is, like with North Korea, the country has no way to launch them intercontinental.  If they did, I doubt the USA would even be in these talks in the first place. But there is more.  Remember how I listed their enemies:  USA, Israel, Saudi Arabia.  One of these is not like the others...
Saudi Arabia does not have nukes (yet, or rather ones that we know of)  I can bet you all sorts of obscure things that I should not be putting on a gambling table that Saudi Arabia is developing launchers of their own to compete with their number one enemy in the Middle East.  I can assure you that should the entire middle east become openly Nuclear, the atrocities that Isis is currently committing will be a thing of the past in comparison.  Of course, as usual, the media (on all sides I might add, not just the left) are blaming a country that is neither Sunni or Shiite (the two major types of Islam)

I speak of course of Eretz Yisrael.  Israel, my people's homeland.  Israel has nukes, even though on the record they don't.  But quite frankly, how do you prevent the country that is filled with the people who created all the original atomic bombs to not have some of their own?  Not to mention they live in a place where every one of their neighbors (Jordan and Egypt currently withstanding) want to kill them down to the last woman and child (this includes the Palestinians too by the way)

Now as a liberal, I do not agree with just about any of Netanyahu's social policies at home.  However, I am not naive to think that he is not the leader that Israel needs at the moment.  Israel currently needs its Churchill.  A war-hawk to deal with its crazy neighbors. Once their enemies are subdued, the political process will likely remove him from office via election, just like with the British Leader post World War II.

Unfortunately, although the media loves to ignore this point, Israel just happens to be trapped in the middle between two countries that want to rule an entire swath of territory.  This territory is of course the entire Middle East.

Imagine the cold war between the USSR and the USA,  Now replace those two countries with Iran and Saudi Arabia.  Ironically enough, Russia supports Iran and the USA supports Saudi Arabia to this very day.  Forgetting for a moment that this is yet another one of Ronald Reagan's many (many many many) failures, lets note that this is nothing more than a multi layered proxy war.  Israel is trapped in the middle of it.  And adding Nukes to the conflict just adds even more ways for the entire region to explode further.

So please listen to this unusual Liberal for just a moment longer.  If Nazi Germany, Soviet Russia, and North Korea have not already taught us how the result of this deal will play out, I implore you to think of the consequences of these actions.  The lives of tons of innocents all around the world hinge on this error being fixed quickly.  Iran needs to be stopped.  More sanctions, not less, are needed as a first step.  Stopping them also stops Saudi Arabia.

And since neither Russia or the USA want to cut ties to these nations, this is the only way that I see where a way out that lacks bloodshed is possible.

Honoring Satoru Iwata

It would be an understatement for me to say that Nintendo has been a definitive part of my entire life.  Many of the video games produced by this company have become staples within my home.  Others which were co created with other video game companies (such as Final Fantasy 6) are among my favorite games of all time.

Thus it is with a heavy heart that I say my farewell to the now former President and well known Personality of Nintendo.

Iwata passed away at the age of 55 after complications involved with a bile duct growth.  He will be sorely missed, not only for his innovations but for his cult status as the face of Nintendo.

Wherever he is now, perhaps he can finally grasp Giygas' true form.  Now he knows with confidence who the mother of Bowser's children is.  Now he knows for sure that Zelda is a girl.

The ideas and creations you brought into this world will endure.  You will not be forgotten.

May he Rest in Peace.

My Problems With Hard Science Fiction

Recently I have been reading 2312 which is along with much of the Kim Stanley Robinson's work, very well received by the Science Fiction Community at large, but by me personally, not so much.

My problems stem from the fact that in Hard Science Fiction, the actual science is required to be completely plausible to the point where the story cannot function without it.  To this end, more time has to be spent explaining the science rather than explore the characters, the plot and most importantly, the conflict.  

I am more than halfway through the book, and basically minus some isolated incidents, the whole story has been about a cool world that has nothing happening.   It is no helped by the fact that the protagonist Swan, is not a likable character.  She is the bad kind of drug addict.  The kind that drags others down with them and doesn't even see a problem with their actions.

The world just does not seem realistic from a social perspective.  The Science is filled so far to the brim as far as Physics and Engineering are concerned.  But come Psychology and while the Author certainly references the Science much through the story, in regards to new idea sexual encounters and societal change, he does not seem to take Human nature into account.

History has shown us that many a Hard Science Fiction Author is very naive when they try to predict the future.  An idea that new tech will slow down or halt fighting and killing significantly is just silly.  The entire purpose of most Science and Technological Advancement follows the pattern of Weapons First, Defense Second, Civilian Third.  The fact that much hard science fiction fails to take into account this constant cycle irks me.

To that end, there is a reason I have chosen to write Soft Sci Fi and Dark Fantasy.  they focus on the themes that I feel are more important while still not forgetting what has brought these genres to the forefront in the first place.  

The Search For Eden Novels are Dark Fantasy with elements of Sci Fi and take the more Cynical approach to Humanity that I think is more realistic.  To that end, I chose this medium and while I appreciate other mediums, the more optimistic ones just strike me as foolishness.

Twitchtv

Many of you may not be familiar with the website listed above, but this is a place where many video gamers showcase their abilities and for the more talented one, they gain spectators.

The most talented (and persuasive) can even make some money with this.  Professional Streamers gain donations from fans and can also set up subscription plans where fans can fund their favorite gamers.

I have tried to break into the Streaming world before, but I have the problem of not being a professional Video Gamer.  To the world, I'm just another shmuck in a world saturated by novices in the video game world.  Each and every one of them thinking they have talent.

While I can certainly claim that I am more skilled than the average gamer, average does not cut it on Twitch.  You either have to be exceptionally talented at the game you are playing, or you go a second avenue (if you are Male.  Females have a third option of course.)

This second option is of course to be a personality.  Or rather, someone that is interesting enough that people watch them play games.  As I decide to go this avenue, I will be searching out games to play, strategies to employ and all sorts of wit and tact for your entertainment.

Gaming does not detract from my.  Rather it helps enhance it.

On Twitch I go by Praughx.  Give me a follow and I may follow you back as well as keep you entertained.

A Hearty Thank You to my Birthright Group

I know some of what is contained here is a repeat of what I told you guys at the end of the trip, but I wanted to immortalize how I felt in the infinite vastness known as the internet.

I went on birthright very much afraid of how things might play out.  Being that I have Aspergers which until recently was considered a form of Autism (apparently its a unique condition now) I was afraid of being in a place with people I had never met before all alone.  I had no allies as far as I knew.  I was completely and utterly alone.  There had been times in my life where being in this situation had gotten me physically and mentally abused.  I really was putting myself on a limb on this trip.

Also although this seems like a silly thing to worry about, when I had tried going on the 18 to 21 year old trips, I was also worried about the rampant amount of hookups that would occur on the trip.  I had no interest in being pressured into random hookups. In fact after having a very crummy experience with dating, I had devoted a great portion of the last couple years of my life to better myself instead of focusing on this other aspect.  My hard work would have potentially come crashing down.

Instead, I took a series of risks and talked to everyone through the first couple of days.  I seemed to have succeeded in making everyone think I was this loud mouthed extrovert while in reality, I was shaking in fear the whole time on the inside.

But instead of pushing everyone away, instead I managed to make some truly remarkable friendships, and spent an entire 10 days with some of the most exceptional Jews I have ever known.  Each and every one of you far and beyond exceeded my expectations by far.

Which is why when I had my lovely outburst when we had the Holocaust Discussion, I had feared that I had pissed all over those friendships.  I had grown complacent and in my calmness, let my opinions run wild when it was out of place.

Still rather than my fears coming true, I managed to not even push any of you away at all.  I even gained the respect of a few of those of you who I feel will become some of my closest friends.

It means a lot to any individual on the Autistic Spectrum to be able to act as themselves around others and not be shoved out into the cold.  Thank you so much to all of you, for making me feel included, loved, and that it is acceptable to be the way I am.

I love you all :)

PS:  Ori was right, after drinking Goldstar, Heineken is crap by comparison

July 4th

Rather than write a snide post about America's problems, or political crap that I tend to write, I will take a moment to remind those of you reading this to appreciate each other this holiday weekend.

Too much negativity is spread around the world.  Take this July 4th weekend to do what you love.  Soldiers have fought for their lives so that we can freely make both good and bad choices in our lives.

So once again, take this time to reflect on what it is you enjoy , and should you have the means to do so, go for it.  If that means grilling food, do it.  If that means playing video games, that's cool too. If that means getting absolutely shit faced drunk, cool beans.  If that means using psychedelic drugs, more power to you.

Stay safe while you do whatever it is that you enjoy on this Fourth of July Weekend.  I know I will be. :)

Trans-Pacific Partnership

In this 3 part controversy series, I have moved from the most exciting issue, to finally, ending with the most bleak.  The Trans-Pacific Partnership has been a controversy of late.  Especially as cited by the Nay Sayers who claim that the other two issues that I have already written about in length: Marriage Equality and the Confederate Flag, are nothing more than distractions while this becomes law.

Many fear that as history has taught, trade agreements in general tend to screw over the poor and middle class (which in my opinion is just a nice way of telling slightly less impoverished poor people that they are special, but I digress.) And they are actually correct.  However, what they are wrong about is that discussing this issue will create some sort of change.

I warned at the start that this was to be the most negative of the three posts.  The protests, the political opinions, they matter on some issues.  This is not one of them.  This is a created by the rich, for the rich issue.

When it comes to making money, unless you the reader are one of them its quite simple.  They do not care about you.  They Do Not Care About You. They Do Not Care About You.

Have I gotten my point across?

This deal will succeed no matter how much the American people as well as the people of every single nation feel about it.  We are nothing more than pawns to these people.  We are just another cog in the machine.  even worse, if we start behaving like rabid dogs to try and get our way, they may even consider putting us down.

Be careful about what issues you protest.  Unless you are truly prepared to fight, breath, and maybe even die for what you believe, it may be futile.